In the beginning, there was Us.
Sometimes I thought that my smile would blind people,
It burned so brightly for you.
And nothing touched me more
Than when you whispered forever into my ear
I knew you better than anyone-
I thought I knew you better than anyone.
And I remember holding on tightly to your heartstrings:
They tethered me to you
But nobody warned me about the rope burn
That rubbed my palms raw when you left
I couldn’t let you go, and it stung.
For too long, I couldn’t get the taste of salt out of my mouth
My favorite meals were covered with the acrid tang of helplessness
And for the first time in a year I was alone.
My pen wouldn’t stop breathing your name and I tried to suffocate it-
Over and over and over again
But I ended up choking on the words I needed to say
So I screamed, laying my out my despair on the hood of your over-heated car
The steering wheel always shook when you drove over fifty miles an hour
And I too began to shiver with the speed at which I began leaving you behind
I searched the world for places you had never touched
And I found sanctuary at the top of a mountain,
Breathing hard and standing silhouetted against the thin, crackling air
I was stronger than I believed, and I trailed my fingers through the sky
I began to scale park gazebos and I sang Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of my lungs
I bought large Cokes and drank every last drop- I didn’t have to share the straw
I wore tight dresses because I liked the way the sequins sent shards of light bouncing off the sidewalk in front of me
And on the 180th day I said “let there be life”
So now I live- alone, free, strong, powerful-
And it is good.