Friendless
Everywhere I turn silence greets me
If there is one thing I yearn for it is a face
Something other than the embrace
Of solace, because her mockery is deafening
She cackles loudly in my mind
Reminding me that no one comes
But her to my side
Everyone else steps aside
When I am falling
Reaching
Crying
For someone to call out
And burn all the doubt
From my mind
To whisper I am not alone
And guide me back home
All I do day after day
Is soothe those in need
Of a comforting word
Or deed
Repeatedly I bring
Those who constantly
Hurt me back into my life
Because for the will of me I cannot
Turn down those in need of my service
It is one of my vices
A knife that slices
Pain into my heart
Painting scars across my skin like art
Stop, I need to but I won’t
I can’t
I don’t
I am an addict to pain
In vain I push those away
Then pathetically draw them back in
Telling myself not again
Will I allow them to treat me that way
But like routine
They deem me useless
When my services are no longer useful
By then I feel no need to be careful
About my feelings
So when I am dumped
Back on the street
I fall to the ground
Not able to stand on my feet
Since they were kicked from beneath me
This all happened so quickly
But wait I knew this was coming
So why am I still sitting shocked
With blood pouring from my heart
Like the tears I will never shed
They will stay within
Until I am dead
Comments
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RebeccaYSPerez
This poem was very open and raw, and there were some places where the chopping up of the sentence to make sure it fit the format you gave it was a little weird but it was definitely a beautiful, strong piece that allowed you to express everything that you needed to. I understand that there have been a lot of times where people have been using others, you, in this case, to help them, to be there for them, but then never be there for you when the time comes. This has been something I struggle with as well, but I want to give you some faith, if not in other people but in the way you are. By helping other people, no matter what they do for you or to you in return, you should always know that you did the right thing by helping, and being there for someone else. It is their karma what they do to you, what you did to them is your own. J. R. R. Tolkien said there is humanity in this world, and it is worth fighting for. I believe that is absolutely right, so don't give up or change who you are, the way you are, because of other people, know that you are doing the right thing and it is okay to be hurt by it but don't make that change who you are. Remember hurt people hurt people. Thank you for sharing this.
Rebecca