The Expectations We Break
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I still remember the day when I realized that the only person who can ever truly love you with all of his or her heart is yourself.
But growing up it appears that I was always taught to hate who I was,
For even when I dressed to satisfy myself
I would be told that this was not me or that I was changing too much.
It seemed as if every little thing I did, criticism would follow.
It did not take long before I hated my hair, I hated my eyes, I hated my smile, and everything alike.
I hated who I was and what I did.
I always thought that I had to look pretty,
Not for myself but for the people around me.
Always being called names as if I did not already have one,
Being teased about every little imperfection that I appeared to have.
Being told my face is too ugly
That maybe I should use Proactive or care more about how I look.
But guess what, I did.
I tried my hardest to make myself look acceptable to society.
I wore makeup to hide every little thing I hated the most.
It came to the point where I just tried to stop caring altogether.
I simply combed my hair forward and hid my face for two years,
I wore dark clothes and black eye liner to make it appear as if I simply did not give a damn.
But in the inside, I always did.
I would go home and cry my heart out,
With tears burning in my eyes,
Hoping, praying to God that I looked beautiful enough for the ruthless society that we live in today,
Who tell us that we are worthless excuses for human beings,
Who tell people that their boobs are either too big or too small
(Because apparently there is a right or wrong answer when it comes to this).
And I would lock myself in my room,
Blaring music until it appeared that my ears would bleed,
Hoping that these words could somehow drown out the ones that hurt.
I hid myself from a world who only shoots us down no matter what we do.
For years I held this view,
Never wandering from it.
But life should not be like this.
It took me so long to realize this, that I deserved more than what I was giving myself,
To realize that I have a deeper purpose in life and to not just go about it without a care.
The words people say to try and bring us down mean nothing in the larger scheme of life.
Because you have to realize and never forget that you are the only thing you will ever truly have in life.
And no, not your body,
I mean you.
The you who is kind and compassionate.
The you who loves to be with her friends and family.
And the only beauty you will ever need is when
Your eyes light up when you smile out of pure joy,
The way your laugh changes ever so slightly when you hear a really funny joke.
And if, even for an instant, you begin to become enveloped in these trivial expectations,
I hope you realize that the life you have now is a true miracle.
Because you are worth so much more than the size of your waist or your boobs,
You are worth the dreams you aspire to reach
And the effort you put in to achieve everything you can ever imagine.
Because when you love yourself, you are the most beautiful you will ever be.
You are a precious, irreplaceable treasure whether you choose to believe so or not,
And this is something that society should be praising.