Distractions help ease the pain of constant thoughts. Keep busy.Safe. As the pain and heart break ease, so do the distractions.No more painting. Drawing. Creative outlooks. Back to the flat emotion of a 9-5.What’s the difference between being satisfied and being stagnant? I want the creativity of depression. Deep thoughts. Twists and turns. Like your heart lifting out of your chest as you’re about to drop down from the top of a roller coaster. Down hill adrenaline. Itchy skin that you don’t want to but can’t help from scratching. Carving down like dirt under the nails. How can something feel so good and so terrible all at the same time?