Don't Tell Me I'm Beautiful

Mon, 02/24/2014 - 21:00 -- 4kelsea


Don't tell me I am beautiful,

Tell me I am too skinny,

when in my head I feel too fat,

Call me an ugly, unproportionate, piece of crap,

with my face in my hands buried in my lap,

to hide my ski slope nose, buck teeth, and dull eyes,

Lower my confidence like you know well enough I have practically none,

And then when you are done, flash me a quick smile and walk away,

Leave me to shake and hic back the sobs, 

wishing that smile was fake, 

That you had said these truths that I've come to expect,

Instead you called me beautiful,

If only you'd said anything but that,

If only you had left me like everyone before,

But you stay leaving me exposed even more,

Can't you see, I don't deserve the name you set before me,

I am nothing but pent up fear in a pale body,

with cold dead hands, that you make meet yours so lively soft and warm,

you pick up my face and brush away unruly shaggy hair,

Can't you see I am in no way the definition of beauty at all,

So don't call me beautiful because I am not ready to fall,

Beautiful is a ten story building

based on the support beams of your love,

Beautiful is miles above

ugly, dork, noob, nerd, cute, and liking just my boobs,

the ones that I used to wish would suffocate me,

an ironic death as I lie on my back and can no longer breathe.

Beauty is implying that I am so much more than breasts and mental illness, 

and when you leave me and my heart cracked,

I know it will be a painful death going back,

Don't Tell me I'm beautiful, whatever you do,

because I've only ever felt beautiful with you.


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