Don't Lose Yourself - Continue on


Northern Virginia
United States
37° 5' 24.864" N, 95° 42' 46.4076" W

"Nadia, here is some cash for you to go back to school with...I love you, do great... make me proud, you can do whatever you want in life".

"Hey Nad, I love you, happy birthday".

2 simple sentences but they meant the world to me.

These 2 sentences were the words my Aunt Dawn told me.. 


Last sentence  was said a few days before my birthday. The begin sentence that was said to me before I left to head back to campus to begin my sophomore year in college.

She battled with diabetes and kidney failure resulting in Calciphylaxis.

I get a phone call. My aunt was put to bed the night before and was not waking up. 

3 hours away... at school.. class are getting ready to start....

...Without a thought, I was on the road...

Finally, home...surrounded by family, I  grab my Aunts hand and tell her I made it home. I could tell that she was happy I was home. 3 strong deep breathes she inhales & exhaled at that moment. 

Safe at home with family.. I went into another room and broke down. For so long I had been so strong.

3 hours back to campus. & I am settled in... 8:30 pm ... Aunt Dee Dee passed away.

My heart dropped.  

 Sadness, loss of appetite , the feeling of lost hope,  e-mails sent about death & classes absences. 

As a student I hate not being able to attend class but school  was not a focus at the moment.

E-mails about homework & assignments between teachers and I were sent. To keep myself from falling behind.

Back in class.. physically there but not mentally.  

Eventhough I really didn't want to be in class I remebered the educated strong woman that my Auntie was and I know she want me to continue to pursue my dreams and become successful.

Time goes by...It gets easier alittle but I still can't come to truely fathom that she is really gone. 

I call her phone and listen to her voicemail answering machine just to her voice, or listen to her favorite song.


2 months pass...

I find myself in the hospital.

Suffering from adominal pain, bloating and continous nausea.

ER recommends I go to a  GI specialist.

GI Specialist....Meeting ends with a endoscope having to be done.

Continous nausea, lack of sleep..

Endoscope shows.. I have a problem with digesting certain foods causing the swelling,

 Result is.. IBS.

Now, learning how to find foods that my stomatch can take.....

2  seperate pills, I  take daily.


In no way is this to be a pity party.

No !!! pity for me, just a party about a live that was once lived and another that continued to fight through school when everything her was going crazy.

For me this semster taught me alot about my character .

And it caused me to want to tell you this little message... 

" No matter what life may throw your way, you have all of the strength in the world to fight through it. Never allow your situations to stop you from reaching your goals. Fight through it because the victory at the end is worth it".

Okay, I am finished and to let you know I passed my sophomore semster with a 2.95 GPA.





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