I want to be a diplomat

I want to see the world 

I want to meet everyone

As if I ever could

 

I want to write peace treaties 

While wearing Louis Vuitton

I’d like to wave off astronauts

And go where they have gone

 

I want to stay up late

Studying Russian foreign affairs

I want to practice my Chinese 

To diplomats who care

 

I’d like to date French men,

Movie stars, or the president himself

Give lectures in the heart of D.C.

Be as graceful as Grace Kelly herself

 

And, of course, speaking of grace

I’ll be the best orator the world’s ever had

I’d shake hands and kiss babies

And build new homes in East Trinidad

 

I’d end wars with batting eyelashes

In my tiny pencil skirt

I’d interview tsunami survivors

And show them what they’re worth

 

I’d sail the seven seas

Get my passport filled with stamps

Play pickle ball with oil tycoons

Turn them into greener champs

 

Or ride planes, or trains, or automobiles

Meet with execs from everywhere

Issue green cards 

To aliens from Mars

Learn Swahili on dare

 

I’d clean up Chernobyl, 

The ocean, and the Bronx

Live in the bush with tribesmen

Or in Foggy Bottom with legislative skunks

 

Sing the national anthem

To soldiers out abroad

Graduate from Harvard or Yale

Summa Cum Laude

 

And most of all, 

I want to make a difference

Be a hero and look fabulous all the while

Represent world leaders

I’d have them all on speed dial!