I wasn’t really dying

but the stomach aches

and the constant need

for water

the constant thirst

left me dry

and sickly.

 

Hospitals

and ambulance rides

and needles

and trying not to cry

just wanting to go home

but being told I couldn’t move

couldn’t eat

couldn’t sleep

not yet

not yet

not yet

couldn’t exercise

couldn’t live a normal life

not yet

not yet

not yet

now it’s time to resume

like nothing ever went astray

but how can I

when I can barely move

can’t run and play

without my lungs burning

without feeling my energy

leaving my body

without feeling

every day

like I’m struggling

to this day

only now

the struggle

is normal

no longer special

it is my day to day.