Depression
Locations
I feel like I have these moments where I think it’s okay if I die.
Like if I were to be diagnosed with a terminal disease,
I wouldn’t be sad or scared to die.
I would just accept it
as if someone had told me that I had a paper due next period that I forgot to write--
that there was nothing I could do about it
so there is no point in getting hung up.
“I feel like I have these moments where I think it’s okay if I die.
Like if I were to be diagnosed with a terminal disease,
I wouldn’t be sad or scared to die.
I would just accept it
as if someone had told me that I had a paper due next period that I forgot to write--
that there was nothing I could do about it
so there is no point in getting hung up,”
I repeated,
but this time aloud.
I wished I had been thinking this for days,
but I’d been thinking it for weeks.
I guess what I meant by that
was things are happy sometimes
and sad other times.
Feelings are ephemeral.
Life is ephemeral.
Sometimes I’m sad and I don’t know why;
there was no particular event or hardship that triggered it.
I’m just sad.
I know that no matter how happy
I might be in one moment,
that happiness will eventually end.
That thought alone
is enough to prevent me from being
happy.