Dearly Beloved

You don’t know what you got until it’s gone

Something you used to say all the time

It’s funny, but a little sad, how true that really is

As the single solitary tear brushes down my cheek

The catalyst for the rest to fall

My heart beats at twice the rate

With four times the intensity

My brain overflowing with the masses

Of memories and moments

The things I “got” that are now “gone”

I remember the days when your hair used to flow

A beautiful crisp dark red

I remember the days that there was no hair to flow

Yet you gleamed with beauty

For the inner tides would flow instead

Waves of confidence, strength, determination

Crashing on the coast of benevolence

For even in your pain, in all that wasn’t given to you

You still gave all that you had

Philanthropy wishes it could encompass that kind of charity

For your infliction of the breast

Could not suppress

The woman that you were, that you are, that always will be

 

Physical deformities

Can never mask the radiance of inner beauty

It only reveals true power

 

I remember you shook

How your body had given it

But I remember that your eyes had not

Even in the darkness you created light

However dim or bright it may have been

It still shone

 

 I would think to myself what I could have done

What I did wrong, what I didn’t do, what I needed to do

Then I would remember the card you left me

To my Amazing Son

“To see you happy-

Laughing and joking

Smiling and content

Striving towards goals of your own

Accomplishing what you set out to do

Having fun

Capable of loving and being loved

Is all I always wished for you…

Today I thought about your handsome face

And felt your excitement for life

And your genuine happiness

And I, as your mother

Burst with pride

As I realized that my dreams

For you have come true

What an extraordinary person

You have become

And as you continue to grow

Please remember

How very much

I love you…”

Like a scene you only see in movies

Her finals words unspoken

Brings me back to that place

Where I remember what I have done

What I have left to do

And what I need to be

 

It reminds me of who I am

Who I will become

And who you will forever be to me

For that mom

You will be forever missed

You are Dearly Beloved