Dear Lonely Past
For the longest time, I walked hand in hand with you.
You led me like a foreigner in a bustling city full of life.
I wanted to experience the foreign world but,
I could never experience anything as you held my hand tightly.
You said you were protecting me.
I let you lead me,
I was afraid of what would happen if I let go.
You were all I had,
Or, well, you made me believe
Empty space was my only security.
I would gaze at the world, aching to be a part of it,
But had no courage to face it.
I was afraid of what you would do if I let go.
I wanted my future to explode like undiscovered stars
neglected by wandering telescopes.
I wanted to be free,
free from the bounds, the shackles, that hold me down.
I wanted to leap forward with a heavy soul but free spirit.
I wondered if I sat still
Would my future come to me?
Like the wind blowing the children of flowers
lulling them a promise of life.
Maybe if I stayed up all night long
my future will streak across the sky,
praying a wish to a rock.
It took me a long time to realize what I had to do.
I finally let go.
How many times did I stumble,
like a drunk bastard heavy with liquor, guilt, and sorrow.
I would come back to you,
And you would smile at me knowing how much I depended on you.
I would whisper words of forgiveness
And you would take my hand and lead me again through the streets.
But finally, I have built the courage to say:
Hello my lonely past
this will be the last time I’ll write.
This is my final goodbye.
I don't know what lies ahead but
I will accept it with a smile
even if with each step, I take my last breath
because finally, I will be free from you
the heavy weight
that made me dead.
Sincerely,
A Hopeful Future