I'll keep this brief.
I won't pretend to know why you did what you did
Or what was going throuhg your head
That day you pulled the trigger
That changed the lives of your kids,
The lives of your parents,
The lives of your sisters.
But please understand
That I understand.
I understand why the thought crossed your mind.
I struggle with the same feelings every day.
Would you have ever guessed
That almost twenty years since that day
Your son would've followed in your footsteps?
Always the artistic rebel,
"Too cool for school",
Stuck working dead end jobs
Ever since graduation,
Not the model child your parents wanted.
I grew up to be you.
I wasn't an A+ student.
I hated school and the people there with me.
I've been bouncing between jobs for over three years now.
But there's a few differences between us.
I'm going back to school,
I'll be studying psychology
Because I'd like to know more
About the disease that poisoned your mind,
That tore you away from us,
The same disease that plagues my mind
And is a constant struggle for me
To not let history repeat itself.
I want to help prevent others from finding that option
As their only way out.
As my only way out.
I want to fix myself.
In a few short months
I will have passed you in age.
There are many questions I have left to ask you
But I know that time is precious
And better used working on finding inner peace.
So the only question I want to leave you with is this:
Are you proud of the young man
That I became?
The same young man that you weren't here to raise
And watch walk across stage
And recieve his diploma?
Was it worth it?
I'm not mad
But if there is another life beyond this one,
I hope we can meet each other there
And watch the rest of time progress
Like you never left us to begin with.
I await the day we meet again.