Dear Anxiety

Dear Anxiety, You've always been there, in the back of my mind.  Watching, waiting, listening. Biding your time until you felt it was time to come out. Watching me go through life, Waiting for me to do something risky, Listening to everything I say. With every moment and action, I knew you were there. But you were never acknowledged. Until now.    Starting a new project?  What if nobody likes it? What if everyone hates it or laughs?  Starting college? Everyone's going to stare and think you're weird.  Why not just take online clases? Talking to friends? They think you're annoying, stop talking. Don't bring up your problems,  Only listen to theirs. With every thogught, you're there, poking at the edges. Shoving 'What if' and 'Don't do that' in my face. You started this in middle school. Aren't you tired of it by now?   I don't blame you, I know it's your job.  As the years have passed, I've come to accept you.  I know I have fears, and they come from you. By now, your 'What ifs' have become so common,  That I don't even care. 'So What?'  So what if they laugh?  So what if they stare?  So what if they don't like it? You used to drag me down, keep me from doing what I wanted.  But now, I use you as a strength.  You're still here, and you always will be.  Voicing the fears deep inside my head, trying to play it safe and not get hurt.  You've pushed me to acknowledge that you're part of me,  And for that I'm grateful.   With every anxiety,  With every 'What if,'  With every 'Don't do that,'  You push me harder. I do what I feel to be right, anxieties be damned.  I finish that new project.  I take those face-to-face classes.  I talk to my friends without care.  I do whatever I can to make sure the anxieties don't take over.  To keep them at bay.  To stay myself.   I can honeslty say you've become my greatest strength, Anxiety. With every new task, you rear your ugly head anew,  And I face you head on.  I overcome you. I prove you wrong. I show you just how much I can do when I push you aside.  You've shown me that, while there's a chance you're right,  A chance that everyone's staring,  A chance I'll fail,  I'll never know unless I try. I may fail, but that just pushes me to try harder.  So thank you, Anxiety,  For always being there,  For showing me the world isn't all roses and sparkles,  For making sure I don't get too ahead of myself,  But most important of all,  Thank you for pushing me to be who I am today.   Yours Truly, Me 

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