You don’t even know me

And I’ve never seen you trying

I’ve only seen you pretend

To love me, but you put that to an end

You act like you know everything

But the ones you should aren’t those things

You could help me learn things, but you don’t

You could help me draw, bike or something, but you won’t

Because you left, with no warning

And now my eyes are burning

You used to call me a crybaby

Am I? Well, maybe

Only if that means I have true emotions

Because I cry when I feel like I’m broken

But you never knew I felt that way

But I have, I did for over 730 days

That’s two whole years dad, you didn’t even ask

But then again, maybe it was because of my mask

You never bothered to look under it, to see the true me

You know, the person you don’t know, even after 13 years you’ve made oh so crappy

You still don’t know me yet, do you?

I’m an artist, an author, a poet, and an otaku

Maybe you would’ve understood me better 

If I was interested in the same things as my brother

Sports, skating, cars and such

But for me, those don’t do much

I prefer something I can create, anything I ‘ought

May it be a pretty picture or a hateful letter of my thoughts

The ones you never bothered to know, like your own daughter

And I wonder, does a dad like that deserve to be called a father?

Because you don’t know a single thing about the way I’ve grown

Or about the way I am when I am all alone

Do you know why you don’t know?

Because you’ve never, ever, bothered to, make conversation past “Hi”, “Hello”

Not a how are you, because you aren’t ready for that answer

You aren’t ready for the hurt, sadness, hatred, and anger

Because they would hit like running into a wall

A wall I’ve put up to keep you away so that I don’t have another fall

Not a physical one, where I can get up and brush it away

The emotional kind, where it will always leave scars, and I see them every day

They’re white now, just so you know dad

But they’ve been red, pink, and they’ve hurt so bad

And they were right in front of your face

But you never noticed in any time or place

You never looked or even opened your eyes

Just your mouth that kept spitting out lies

But let them come back, let karma hurt you

It would destroy you, inside out, with no one left to love you

Why? Because dad, anyone’s love for you is one-sided

So maybe karma should hit you, and while you’re blindsided

Maybe that will be the day that you finally try to apologize

And that will be the day I flip the tables and look you in your eyes

And tell you that it’s my decision to forgive, you won’t have a say

Oh wait, wasn’t that what you said that day?

When you tore me up and down, and you knew it

You could see me right there, and in two I was split

And I hated you since and for far longer

And I can’t say the hatred’s made me any stronger

Quite the opposite 

I’ll admit

But I’ll overcome it, this is something I just know

And someday, there will be love, not hatred, in my bones

There will be a heart of gold in my chest, no more black

And that’s the day I’ll finally have all of me back

 (Image and poem credits to myself)