imagine a parent saying to you that they wish you were never born

that you are a mistake of my life

job is an upright and blameless person like an innocent child understanding life itself

whose moral were heavily tested by confusion caused by satan

there are times when we say we have a strong prayer life, and when we are scrutinized by naysayers

we question God's legacy like job by not being righteous, we begin to doubt

like job, we'll say something like this:

may the day perish on which i was born

and the night in which it was said

i am conceived

may that day be in darkness where there is no light

may God may not seek it

nor the light shine upon me

may the darkness and shadows of death claim me

i have no purpose

the clouds be grey and settle in

may the blackness of the skies terrify me

every night , may the darkness reign supreme

may no joyful come to me

i feel as if i been lied to

may the sun set and darkness arouse

why am i here

why wasn't my mother's womb closed up when i came out

why did i not die at birth

why did i not perish when i came out of my mother 's womb

i rather been sleeping without bothering to wake up

i would've have more rest at that point

but You Lord have something in store

what is it? i want to know why i'm here

i feel hopeless, i don't want to revolt

i still ask questions

why was i not hidden like a stillborn child like infants whose eyes never open up to light

am i wicked that needs to be cease from troubles i indirectly caused

do i need to rest with prisoners together

i have a hard time getting away from the voice of the oppressor

who is telling me the truth

what are you going to say that's going to convince me that You are who You are

i need to see the light where i am in misery

so my soul is not bitter

i am not at ease, nor am i quiet

the biggest thing i greatly fear has come upon me

what can i do to change that?