Making my way home, I remember your vibrant smile.

Your beautiful shining eyes.

Your contagious laugh that lights up a room.

And how you take care of all the sick patients.

 

As I drive, the warm sun hits my face

And there are no other cars on the road

The trees shimmer and sway in the wind

Just as your golden locks of hair

 

On the passenger seat, the strap of your purse lays

I remember you were so busy you did not notice

When it got stuck in the door

And broke from your bag, though I never take it out

 

When I arrive, the driveway is as empty as my heart

You were so busy that day

You didn’t even see the oncoming car

And though it happened so long ago, I remember everything about you

 

Imagine my surprise, then, as I open the door

to find you standing in the kitchen

to find you holding white roses in your arms

As tenderly as a mother holding her child.

 

‘I’ll be gone in a moment’ she says

And because it’s true

and this is my last chance

My apology comes pouring out like word vomit

 

“My dear, my love,

I am so sorry I did not warn you

of the speeding car,

I am sorry I made you angry, so that you left so quickly

too quickly to notice the traffic on the road

I would take it all back, I would save you,

Please return to me my love.”

 

There is a terrible moment of silence,

as awkward as standing onstage with 50,000 people

Silently staring at you, and you say

“I’m sorry too, but you can’t take it back”

 

“Please,” I say, wondering how many different ways

there are to fail to say something, but that’s when I see

Him, the most perfect image of a man I had ever seen.

I knew who he was, it filled me with rage, yet with peace at the same time.

 

I don’t remember what happened next,

Just the sound of the gun,

The feeling of numbness

The smell of blood

That is all.

But now the strap of her purse is covered in blood

To forever lie on the kitchen floor in my hand

 

At least we could be together now.