My parents think I'm crazy,
but really not that much.
I drew a pretty purple daisy,
and made the stove my own to touch.
I wacked Daddy with a hammer
and threw Momma down the stairs.
I wrote bad words on a banner
and sent my friends on deadly dares.
I rubbed Bobby with poison ivy
and fed the doggie cyanide.
Strangled Jan while she was driving
and drank a pint of formaldehyde.
I know I'm very naughty
and surely won't get into Heaven.
Under my bed is Sissy's body.
And by the way, I'm only seven.