I should have realized from the start.
That your powerful words of discrimination are tearing me apart.
Favoritism for my white cousin are abundantly clear.
Compliment's galore you gifted them year after year.
Long hair, light eyes, porcelain skin, you would compare,
but when you look at me, lips tugging with glare.
What could I do to make you see me as beautiful,
tears from my eyes of inequality are plentiful.
My entire life I've questioned the roles of am I white, black, or both?
The answer avoids me, doesn't encourage my growth.
I don't understand why my skin colour brings such shame.
I gift you with love, and you spit upon my name.
The bathroom I ran to seal my painful fate,
looking into the mirror a reflection I learned to hate.
Vision blurred by thick clouds of smoke,
must burn my hair straight, I began to choke.
Next, bleach on my skin, must scrub it raw.
One race I shall be, anything else is a flaw.
As I close my eyes and begin to pray,
"Please god! Make me different, make her see me as worthy today."
Illuminated brown strands of hair flowing with care,
a smile began to form as curls were no longer there.
Smoke began to fade, and turning to look again:
As caramel colour still stain my skin.
Escape into the woods, panic forcing my retreat,
the sounds of nature calms away the agony of defeat.
No judgment, or pain, or anxiety to feel,
here my wounded soul would finally heal.
Then one day it clicked like spotlights on a stage;
it was you who were toxic, it is you I must disengage.
Life has made me wiser and everyday comes new hope.
For so long I was oppressed but no longer will I cope.
Even though your unfair words have cut me so deep,
perseverance and empowerment is what I learned to keep.
So thank you Nana because every trial I have overcome;
a unique woman with strength of character is my final outcome.
Hate, harsh criticism, loss of confidence, fear of being unloved;
I accept this journey of adversity because I have learned
to rise above!