My father once said to me,

“If a rule seems stupid, Lourdes, it’s probably there

Because some idiot did something stupid, and now you’re all

Paying the price.”

It couldn’t have been more than a year after that

That my father didn’t pick me up from school,

Didn’t pick my brother up from Soccer practice,

Didn’t answer the phone for two days. Noah worried. I twelve and him

10, he was much more afraid than I, but I still didn’t know

What to think.

 

My mother was well divorced from him at this point,

And I finally got my wish to know why

 I guess that’s why they say

Be careful what you wish for. 

This was at the point Noah and I could still live with him.

When he finally did come home,

He had to explain to what had happened.

He told us a story of Fresh white powder dusting the playground of his mind,

A snow globe in his brain. Wrapping, twisting, swirling,

He ate the forbidden snow right off the ground,

And God struck him

With all his might. No wisdom came after that,

And I think Adam rolled over in his grave.

He is a wise man who did something foolish,

The Wiseman who’s gift for baby Jesus was lamb’s wool,

For he thought Jesus’ little head might be cold against all that snow,

 In the dead of summer.

 

The rules were stupid, you would think.

You may not pick them up, or drive them anywhere. They will stay with you

Every other weekend, until you relapse again,

And Again. And again. Then, they will stay with me permanently.

My father is still paying the price. So is the dog, taken from me

Two years later on my brother’s birthday, and so are

We all. Yes, we will pay this price, Forever.