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One time.
One time to live, one time to breathe,
One to play and be all you can be.
"One time," Mama said, and I wanted to believe,
That the whole world was mine, as far as I could see.
But dreams only you take you so far,
When your heart is cast in fear.
And you find yourself losing all that you’ve ever held dear
Because you just couldn’t keep it together
When the pressure was on,
And when you looked up from the blind run,
You realized you were far gone.
Because just when I thought I had life figured out,
Karma struck hard and left me with doubts,
And now when I see nothing’ll ever be the same,
I question what happened and just who is to blame.
When the friends you care for, turn their backs on you
Pretend you don’t exist and talk bad about you too.
And your mentors? You thought they were older, and therefore wise,
To know what was happening, but they weren’t even surprised.
They couldn’t be bothered; they didn’t help you,
While you cried out for someone, they had things to do.
They say that blood is thicker than water,
How much of that is true?
When all family ever did was push you along too.
And maybe I’m just full of angst
Like most teenagers are wont to,
But things were so out of control,
And I was trying to do what I could do!
No money, no honor, no companions -
I’ve lost it all in one year.
Where I once stood proud in glory,
I’ve left full of hatred and tears.
And now I’m in the promised land of college,
Trying to start anew,
But no one said it wouldn’t be hard, starting,
From a place where the smiles and laughs are few.
One time. One Time. ONE TIME!
Echoes that still plague my mind
If second chances come, they only come once,
And still there’s no pause, fast forward or rewind
Buttons to maneuver this thing called life,
This long stretch of nothing we fill with love or strife
Things I am tired of playing with,
While I’m on the edge of some knife.
Many times I’ve tried to heave the feelings off
In words that others could hear
Words that others could try to understand,
Words that seemed to be clear.
Yet every time I opened my mouth,
The sounds would never come,
Just coughs, and heartache, and soft trembles,
Convulsions of my soul undone.
The process is long, the steps are wrong,
I’m a soldier marching a march to some ambiguous song,
Waiting for justice from the people who’ve done me wrong
Trying to prove something to myself as I find myself alone.
It’s hard to restart living after death,
But the journey while sad, has taught me the best
Lessons I could hope I would never forget
Like the pain and the suffering, that fills me with dread.
And once more, I’ll find myself beating
To the rhythm that I choose,
Wiser, stronger, and better off
Than when I was winning to lose.
Because I’ve yet to fill the blank pages,
With sentences of my own preference,
One hasn’t abandoned me like I once thought,
Where things constantly change,
GOD is the only thing with permanence.
And I’ve learned, I’m slowly rebuilding from the bottom
But stronger foundations leave lasting impressions
And I’ve been taught the biggest lessons:
So now I won’t waste my breath, trying to say
Things you should only write once on a blank page,
I shouldn’t have to repeat myself in verses,
Now that I’m closing this chapter,
I’ve passed this stage.
One time to live, one time to breathe,
One to play and be all you can be.
One time for heartbreak, one time to see,
One time for progress, one time to decree,
“One time,” I said, “is all that I need”
To learn, know, and teach the others, the wisdom they should heed.
I said "I was far gone, one time too many."
I said "For sure, I was done.", while I tried to hold my self steady.
But, if there’s one single thing I know from this story,
Is that man can’t be kept from this thing called his destiny.
And no matter the troubles, no matter the chaos,
No matter the “I don’t knows” mixed with the unbearable loss,
I know there’s something out there, that thing they once said:
a great destiny for me.
The journey is harsh and vague, but I'll make it somehow.
“One time,” I said, “is all I need.”
One time is what it takes,
and I will succeed,
You'll see.
Just watch me.