A Childish Memory

Ten years old
I didn't have a worry in the world
Eight years later
the world is weighing me down
I didn't do this right.
I could be doing better.
I'm selfish.
I yell and scream.
I can't control it when frustration takes over.
My insecurities have a lion's grasb upon me
I tried running.
I tried facing the inner demons.
They reappear from thin air.
Look in the mirror,
You may not see fat,
But I do.
I see the unattractive rolls
A guy passes by and winks at the girl next to me.
Day by day
Month by month
Nobody understands
Why I lie down and cry
It's no big deal they say.
What they don't know
Is I'm pushing and pulling myself apart.
It's not what I do that's the problem
It's me.
It's always me.
Ten years old
I was a kid
Now it's only a faded memory


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