What I remember

Gets lost half way to December

A missing goodbye

Filled with sweet lies

Waited all day

Stayed up all night

Then someone awoke me with a couple of lights,

“Where is she?” I pleaded

“She isn’t here” was constantly repeated

“When’s she coming back?” I barely said

“She’s not coming back….Because she’s dead”

I get a lump in my throat, I could barely speak

Trying to keep tears from rolling down my cheek

Blasting music to fill my head,

Trying to think of something else instead,

Staying strong is too hard for me,

Before too long, it’s hard to see,

I can’t help it; water runs down my face,

Everything is wrong, not as planned, Out of place,

I’m too weak to hold it back,

Warm tears fall so fast, I lose track,

Wails for old times fill the sound

I try to hide my tears, but everyone gathers around,

My nose gets clogged, so it’s hard to breathe,

Sniffles to keep it all in isn’t helping

Crying isn’t what I need

I want to be alone,

Not be able to see your name written in stone,

Breathe deep long breaths to calm down they said

Because me missing you is just in my head,

When I look up my eyes have turned red,

Crying has a fee

When I finally move, they all see

I’ve given in; let my tears run free,

I scream for her all of the time,

But she can’t come back for me.