20/1/19--Brooklyn in The Rain

I'm 17 and a month old now, and it’s about 20 minutes past midnight.

It’s a cold rainy night in Brooklyn, but I only know that from the shape in the street lights and the sounds.

Staring through my brother’s kitchen apartment window, I remember how there's so many things I don't know.

And I wanna feel good and safe.

But I don't in this case, and I don't know why.

Maybe it's the demons storming around in my head.

Maybe it's the cat using a shopping bag as a bed

Maybe it's every car and bus passing by.

Maybe it's the thought that I could die, and everything just might be fine.

That's a lot to think about at 23 minutes past midnight now.

I was happy most of the day why suddenly I feel down?

I think I know, but I don't know how to say it, or even write it down.

All I have to describe it is a sound.

A ringing that is quiet, even silent, then suddenly it shakes my body and I go deaf.

It's all in my head.

That just makes it worse.

I don't need to go forward or reverse.

I just wanna stay parked here.

Dry my mental tears.

And stare at midnight Brooklyn in the rain.