AFTER

Hang the head in shame for the days that plague me

Forsake the days that remain

The heaviness of my soul, a bare witness to the sheer pain the earth provides

The Saran wrap that once dearly defended is far gone

Protection of the dome shattered above the heads of the weak

Divided by the sheer wit and guilt

Desperation takes hold of the knife

The fear of being nude to the world

Unappealing

Disgusting

The simple movement releases the pain

Ceasing only to begin

Fear runs through my bones

Solitude, singularity, and ineptitude

Dove head first into darkness, blinded by our refusals to face our fears of the loaded gun

Fireworks but a distant memory

 

DURING

A clouded judgment

An instant spark

Love Connection Express

The physical elements debating with the emotional

Connecting to my mental, invading my spiritual

Validating presences like a parking pass

Roughness embedded in your touch

Melt like popsicles, Fourth of July style

Natural Woman indeed, casting aside all fears and insecurities

Late nights, long talks

Finger tips marking its spot

Wonderment and exploration  

Plurality and promises

Imperfections

Butterflies afloat within the depths of my being pulling me up off the ground

Nearing heaven, near you

God’s love flows through me straight to love you

The heart purely

Confused

Confused

 

AFTER

Scared

Abandon all thoughts of love and affections

Abandon ship, cast the anchor, leave no man behind

Disparity creeps slowly behind, lurking Shadow of death

Darkness looms, watching with its overbearing eye

Desperate for attention

Desperate for love

That hunger to feel special, I just want to be special

Was that too much to ask?

Vague answers left unquestioned, open wounds treated with harsh chemicals

I loathe you more than dirt, and I love dirt.

Craving for the moment to be alone with

Cold calculated stares, warmth from our bodies absent towards the other,

Feelings missing in action

Hands shake the warmth from the beating heart

Grasping and gasping

Regurgitating feelings, casting them away from the body

The emotions scar the face of the possessed

Transparently transparent

Hide and Seek is a game that everyone plays 

 

BEFORE

No joy of mine can be stolen, no joy can be stolen

No joy can be stolen

Daily mantra on repeat

Freeing my ventricles and atriums

Sunshine warrior, aint afraid of no body

Proud as a Lion, golden mane flowing in the wind

The devastating drums pounding in the heart, pushing, propelling

Driving us into the light

Fresher than vanilla

Easy, breezy, b-e-a-utiful

Days countdown to insignificant significance.

Meaning follows everything, everywhere

Carefree livin

Breezes caressing the blessed skin, holding sadness hostage, keeping it at arm’s length

Heaven shines its spotlight

Open road with no boundaries

The warmth flows through and channels into something free

Blood coursing through veins without hesitation

The saying was no joy can be stolen, robbed, or taken

 

 

DURING

 

Pry me open,

See me for what I really am

Lost, dazed, confused, mesmerized by your beauty

But is it all that counts?

Compared to your shadow, I am mouse

Compared to your reflection, I am irrelevant and non-existent

Pry me open, I beg for you to find the beauty you require

See me

See me

Shedding layer upon layer

You’ll begin to discover my deepest secrets

Fears, desires, hopes, and wishes

Once wished upon

Vanity is a naught and vicious crime

Violating the purity of the soul

As self-absorbed as a sponge, soaking up negativity and muck

Capturing the essence in your bare hands

Create me in my own image

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Muffled shouts of the ignored,

Disapproving eyes as we attempt

Take it all, Take your beauty,

Everything we do is for your beautiful love.

Leave me with the glorious residue,

and I shall be beautiful too.