I was a turtle.

I don't remember

My life as a turtle.

Nor do I remember

My future life as a ruler.

But I say I was

Because my parents said so.

My life is in the hands

Of a supreme being.

This being will judge us all

Heaven or hell.

No one has proven this to be real.

But I say it is

Because my parents said so.

I have the right to murder

To pillage all who oppose

The one true faith.

The faith that rules over all.

I never heard Him make the command.

But I say He did

Because my parents said so.

All of you are wrong!

It's the lord, the savior

The Flying Spaghetti Monster!

This is who rules us all.

We should be drunk pirates eating pasta.

What makes me say so? It's

Because my parents said so.

After these ridiculous displays

It would be wise of those who read

To read their parent's holy books

To discover science and rational thought

To determine what is real and what is not real

And to ask the parents who gave you your belief,

"Do you really know what you're talking about?

Or are you saying all this

Because YOUR parents said so?"