I try and try to hold, to no prevail as my labial frustration spews and echoes through halls with paper thin walls separating us from the stares, I don’t care... I DON’T CARE


Puzzled beyond words... my hands grasp at the air

My feet stagger haphazardly behind them at a loss for a landing or ledge


                          What do you want from me??


I’ve made it a bad habit of chasing fleeting projections of my dreams...

after images, that do not fit the

puzzle you call reality...


Can I refuse it? 


I’m fighting to hold to the plans I made on the very first day, and— and I CANNOT COMPREHEND why we can’t simply be?? 

                         What I thought we could be??? 

or... could it still be... ?


Why can’t we be together— stay together? 


Can’t we both take a second to yield and concede? 

because in this moment

I— I can feel my heart bleed, somehow, while it pumps with a forte that wasn’t there before 

reverberations of my trivial exasperation and frustration rise from gastric pits—

My mind, a battered and bloodied contortionist, 

                                                  I choke.






I apologize.


This poem is about: 


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