I try and try to hold, to no prevail as my labial frustration spews and echoes through halls with paper thin walls separating us from the stares, I don’t care... I DON’T CARE

 

Puzzled beyond words... my hands grasp at the air

My feet stagger haphazardly behind them at a loss for a landing or ledge

 

                          What do you want from me??

 

I’ve made it a bad habit of chasing fleeting projections of my dreams...

after images, that do not fit the

puzzle you call reality...

 

Can I refuse it? 

 

I’m fighting to hold to the plans I made on the very first day, and— and I CANNOT COMPREHEND why we can’t simply be?? 

                         What I thought we could be??? 

or... could it still be... ?

 

Why can’t we be together— stay together? 

 

Can’t we both take a second to yield and concede? 

because in this moment

I— I can feel my heart bleed, somehow, while it pumps with a forte that wasn’t there before 

reverberations of my trivial exasperation and frustration rise from gastric pits—

My mind, a battered and bloodied contortionist, 

                                                  I choke.

 

Okay... 

 

fine

 

I apologize.