And I Smile

I open my eyes and feel the morning sun graze my skin and I smile. "Its a brand new day", I tell myself. Everything is okay... just okay...  There is a person staring at me with a vacant look, a frightening look. With long hair that falls perfectly in place and big brown eyes and a smile, a smile that hides so much, a smile that fools so many. Why is it that I'm surrounded by so many people yet I feel empty? I've lost all emotions, even that of sadness yet I smile.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I hear people laugh and I try to do the same but I've forgotten how... Ive forgotten how to laugh... yet I smile. How long has it been since I last laughed? Days? Weeks? No it has to be longer than that.. Nobody notices though and it slowly starts to eat me inside. How can nobody notice that I'm not the same? Does nobody care? I'm starting not to care... but I still smile.                                                                                                                                                         Bitter, they call me and I smile. At my house I hear that often because I do not laugh at things that are supossed to be funny. My family thinks I'm in the rebel stage for always being in my room. My friends tell me their problems and I try my best to help as I "forget" about my own. My own... What are my problems? What is this feeling of emptiness that I go through every minute of every hour? "What is this feeling?" I think as I smile.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       Then cheer tryouts come along and taunt me for I know I will not make the team but I smile. I'm not talented, I'm not coordinated, I'm not flexible, I have no emotion! I cannot take it anymore. Knowing that I'm living, but this is not called living. It is something else. And when I thought it could only get worse... it got better... I made the team. But how? My smile they tell me, I had so much to give to the team, and I smile.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Cheer has brought me back to life. It was the best awakening of my life for it filled the emptiness. It allowed me to dream: about going to college, becoming a doctor, saving lives. I laugh for the first time in a long time and it feels good. How could I have forgotten this feeling? Life is not always perfect but now I know everything will be all right. And I smile.                                                                                              

Comments

MVP-Most Valuable Poet

beautifull written poem

smile goes a long way-captivated my attention

great job and continue to write

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