about the first boy i loved
you
you were not capable of love
i'm not sure
you ever were
because
back then
i believed
a broken heart
could be mended
a hand
always extended
but now
now my veins are split
from searching
for a part of me
that has no memory of you
you
you
drank from my body
like a fine wine
bottle
after bottle
after bottle
after bottle
you sipped from my sunken collarbones
and i let you
because i loved you
but now
now
i am not capable of love either
you broke me
a toothpick
between your lips
and under the pressure of your teeth
i snapped
because i was nothing to you
nothing but
tight skin clinging to sad bones
veins throbbing
ready to burst
you unzipped my flesh
like it was your favorite sweater
and held your hands out
a child waiting to be rewarded
befreo digging your fingers
into my stomach
delving into my blood
desperate for something more
you howled out my name
draining the color in my eyes
stealing the soul in my skin
and as you painted my bones black
and packed my heart into your pocket
i felt my pulse slow
to a deadly stop
the world
fell to a venemous silence
all i could hear
was the malicious tone
of his vicious voice
and with my blood
covered in his lips
he hissed in my ear
i love you
i love you
i love you
i'll always love you
and as i choked in
fresh air through my
cahpped lips
to my peeling lungs
gasping for a feeling
of freshness
that was free of him
my head ached
his veins screaming
over and over
again and again
demanding my attention
with teary eyes
bruising my thighs
and calling it care
tearing my hair
and calling me yours
thirsting for my touch
and calling it love
and i realize now
that you were a wolf
famished and confused
in the winter woods
and i
was senseless to anything
but your desire
and the only reason
you ever said
i love you
or pretended to care
was so
you could keep feeding
from me