Seems lost, doesn’t it?

The decisions that led to this moment,

Cost it its own government,

I still covet it, when its well it’s a wonderful thing,

Sometimes, even in hell, this joy it can bring,

It’s amazing to me how much shit I can take,

And fight every day, even though I can break,

I’m afraid for my life, yet somehow ok,

I’m strangely comfortable, and I think this will stay,

I think one mistake and the quest is done,

I don’t want this to be,

I want the war to be won,

I have no words anymore,

Explanations are for assholes,

I explained enough as it is,

I’m all alone, and will be even more so, soon enough,

It’s nice when its alone, and quiet with itself,

Its good medication, the peace may be artificial,

But the need is real, and the generated states of mind,

Seem to desire to love, I guess, somehow it really does,

I’m done chasing women like a psychopath,

Imaginary friends in the aftermath of destruction,

Who the fuck am I to think I can function?

The junction approaches, reality encroaches,

The eventuality of decisions,

I’m waiting,

I’m waiting,

I’ve waited for things much longer than this,

I will continue to wait,

I will find it,

It will,

It must,

It needs too much.