“Yes”

I finally said

and my mother’s eyes filled with tears

her gut with pain

her words with poison

 

my father left my room

 

my brother looked at me

why his eyes said

Why now, why couldn’t you keep it in a little longer

 

it felt like a storm came in through the front door of my home

and shook everything in sight

a storm I opened the door to

 

as I packed my bags

my mother asked me

if that girl, was my girl

 

she was asking me if it was true

if her worst fears had come true

if her precious daughter was gay

 

I couldn’t say the words

my tongue was frozen

I feared, I feared the consequences

 

I was scared to break my mother’s heart

to put a dagger through my dad’s

to betray my brother, who promised to keep my secret

secret

 

I nodded

I nodded a yes

I nodded expecting to be embraced

I nodded expecting acceptance

 

but instead my dad left the room

my mother began to cry

and my brother lowered his head

 

I wished in that moment I could’ve said I felt pride in who I am

but all I felt was their pain, for something I couldn’t change