Five years old, I picked you out of my homeroom class

I thought I would marry you one day

You had a hat with your name embroidered on it

But it was in homage to a football player

I never had a shot.

 

Dripping down, burning my nervous hands

The years melted together like wax from a candle

Which I held aloft like a torch for you

Until things tapered off

And my gaze lingered on other boys

But it never settled for long

Inevitably, you captivated me once again

I blame your impossibly long eyelashes

And your height, and your easy charm

But you wanted to use me

And I let you.

 

It was all so innocent, too innocent

But it burned me to the core this time

So I ignored it and saw what I wanted to see

Which was your hand in mine

Chemistry class sparked all sorts of fantasies

None of which came to fruition

And then you found a better version of me

To call your own.

 

You ruined me carelessly

Without even a glance in my direction

You never found out what you meant to me

And you never will.