Every morning the Prince calls me to polish his shoes

He wants them to shine like the eyes of his princess

The problem- he has searched endlessly for the perfect lover

The ladies are all too fat, too thin or too ugly for him

He can't accept the fact that his standards are higher than Mount Everest 

In desperation he made up this dumb game where he places a pea under a bajillion matresses

If the lucky lady notices it, she's good enough for him

I got so sick of my Prince's nonsense that I decided to take a stand

When I came in to polish his shoes to impress his new potential princess at breakfast,

I slipped a note in her hand... 

'If wish to be of rich royalty, do as I say;

pretend you could hardly sleep because there was something under your matresses'

She trusted my rebellious note and the prince thought she was the perfect princess for him

They did live happily ever after, however, the story of how they met isn't true

To this day, the Prince doesn't suspect a thing!