I Am
I am in a constant state of fear.
I’m afraid of interviews,
And I’m afraid of bugs.
I’m afraid of failure,
And I’m afraid of the dark.
I’m afraid of conversations,
And I’m afraid of being alone.
I am in a constant state of fear.
I stumble through my words,
And my mind blanks when talking.
My mouth gets dry,
And my hands start to shake.
I play situations in my head
Over and over,
But I’m still terrified.
I am in a constant state of fear.
I can’t make a phone call
Without preparing for fifteen minutes before.
I can’t gather the courage
To talk to a college friend
Because I once thought
That I had loved him.
I am in a constant state of fear
Because boys like to take advantage
Of what isn’t theirs.
Not happening once,
But twice over the course
Of one summer,
I had learned
Why girls have to be careful
Of who they let in.
It’s not strangers who disrespect your body,
But the ones who you thought you trusted.
I am in a constant state of fear,
But I am more
Than my experiences.
I have been pushed down
Put down,
And looked down on,
But I refuse to believe
What I’m told.
I am in a constant state of fear,
But it’s not who I am.
I am a college student.
I am a working woman.
I am a girlfriend.
I am a daughter.
I am a sister.
I am more.