Year of Loneliness
Every Day of school was another day of loneliness
Always seeing other couples in each other’s caress
Passing by the same scene every day
But I knew that love would not come straight away
Constantly surrounded by the same faces
Never being exposed to any new places
I thought that I would never find someone to take on a date
Believing that love would just come to me late
However, it was a new school year
New classes, but I had the same fear
I was scared that others would not accept me
Asking for help from my friends about my personality
They always provide me the reassurance needed
Almost enough to make me start to feel conceited
The words are not enough to boost my confidence
It was all due to my incompetence
Classes end and I would walk to the tree
Friends of friends were all over the place, but this many people wasn’t my cup of tea
I ignored the new faces continued by
But something managed to creep by the corner of my eye
All my focus narrowed on her, and my knees weakened
But I knew that I couldn’t approach her so I just tried to pretend
My mouth spoke towards one way, but my eyes stayed on her
Her eyes met mine and all I could do was deter
Millions of thoughts would fill my head
But all I knew was that she didn’t really care and I was just misled
Only the negative thoughts would stay
It was only supposed to be a regular wednesday
The thing that I thought of only as infatuation
Would become nothing more than just an augmentation
Days pass by and my eyes would continuing to meet hers
But never experiencing “love”, I was a complete amatauer
She was my only salvation
I obviously had a fixation
My friends found my emotions very clear
But I still couldn’t talk to her due to my overwhelming fear
This crush was nothing but one-sided
But I couldn’t help but feel that her feelings were just as divided
Egged on by my friends to go and converse
I just felt that our worlds were just too diverse
I started slow by making friends online
Starting conversations slowly, but every minute felt divine
Even if our talks only went as far as a hi and how was your day
My emotions were clear giveaway
Time passes by as the gap between us tightens
My love for her was real, so real that it frightens
Everyone knew my feelings, and I was sure that so did she
But I the way that she felt bad was something that I could not foresee
It would’ve been soon near a year since we started talking
But the way that it all ended was too shocking
Through this time I knew that I changed
My shyness my fears all turned into something deranged
Through all this experience I became someone new
I was no longer afraid, no longer needing any peer review
I walked on my own two feet and gained the confidence
Now it was time for me to thank her and close that distance
We finished school and I called her out to talk alone
I had let my feelings for her be known
I suspected that she had already found out
But this wasn’t the time to holdout
Knowing I might face rejection
All I wanted for her to know was my affection
She helped shape me into the person that I am today
This would open to me a clear pathway
She walks up to me and we talk like normal
I get to the point and started to become more formal
My emotions come pouring out piece by piece
All the sweet words complimenting her could’ve made her obese
She had a sad look on her face
And I already knew from the beginning, that this was my place
She apologized and hugged me
But I didn’t feel sad, I gained more than I lost, if anything I felt more free
All the pressure on my chest was gone
And with our feelings known we just carried on