I can’t place it

I want to cry but I’ve passed that point

So far deep

releasing this would require energy

and I have none. 

I’m furious and it’s overwhelming

I’m angry at myself

for feeling so morose

Self loathing? No it can’t be…

I need to cry,

I need to cry

When I wish to I can’t 

yet I can when i don’t

I’m fed up with all of this

but too tired to do anything about it

I want something different

I’m sick of feeling things so intensely

I wish I were callous to emotion

instead of letting it drown me. 

I want more than this;

who’s fault is it but mine

for falling short?

my hands convulse

what is happening to my sanity?

I’m crying for no reason

I need this

I need this. 

 

I’m not happy.