Life isn’t complicated. Yet we fill it with complexities.

Reorganizing with how we think life ought to be, instead of how you made it.

We take what you said, take your word and uproot it from its rightful place as our director.

We Take your throne and try to fit it into our mold of society.

Shutting out your love and embracing the enemy.

And yet your love embraces me.

I’m the child who walked away when challenged to act on feeble faith.

And in my self-loathing you stayed, said I’m saved by grace.

But if grace was meant to save me, can it help untangle me from the grip of the enemy.

If I am saved by grace through faith then how strongly to I have to believe before someone comes to set me free from the monsters in my mind.

Am I falling behind?

Is there some level that after 4 and a half years I should be at instead of here.

Drowning in the fears that I cast off but rebound every time I think of what could be.