Whispers in the ear, voices in the head, I don't understand.

No one told me about this, they said it would be easy, confidential, and painless. 

White room, long needle, doctors laughing. I think i am hallucinating.

Screams, women and girls crying trying to put back the pieces of the human life they have destroyed with no hope and no success.

Why didn't they tell me about this, why didn't they explain the horrific mental after affects of such an awful deed. I am not okay it was not easy or confidential because everyone can read it on my face, they can see the heaviness of the burden that I carry on my back. 

When I walk past they can smell death, He can see the decay of the human remains and the outline of the life that was once there.

I asked for forgiveness everyday and asked that He not take my right away to reproduce even though I have torched his name and shed the blood of one of his beloved children. 

He answered!!!

I am pregnant and 7 months. Never will I make the same mistake.