sophomore year liturgy of the body

once a week for four weeks

the girls and boys were separated

and we learned about healthy relationships

healthy - catholic - relationships

and on the very first day i realized

that i had no healthy relationships

except for maybe you

 

our friendship was a strange one

i don't even remember how it started

but we were both weird

sometimes we'd talk about the past

but instead of sharing our pain

i insisted that my past was worse

and you insisted that yours was

but we never actually said what happened

only that it wasn't good

but we haven't talked about the past in a while

i guess the past doesn't matter anymore

our friendship was a strange one

for the first few weeks or maybe months

i refused to even say we were friends

and on the very first day i realized

that i loved you very dearly

and for the first time

i called you my friend

because i love you

 

that was sophomore year

we spent every morning together

and sometimes afternoons

junior year rolled around

and spending every morning with you

was the natural thing to do

but this year was different

you had met a girl

she was pretty and nice and catholic

and she made you very happy

i encouraged you to talk to her

and to ask her out

i wanted you to be happy

because i love you

 

you didn't ask her to homecoming

you didn't have enough time for the paperwork

the boy i asked out said no

so we hung out instead

at the beginning of the dance we joked

about how everyone would think we were together

we laughed about how that was crazy

because we were just friends

we were best friends

 

standing in line to take pictures with friends

standing with you and my best friend

i said that you were my two favorite people

my favorite girl and my favorite boy

we took pictures as a group

and pictures of just the two of us

you held my pictures for me

because i didn't have pockets

after pictures we went back to the gym

i insisted we hang out in the back

where there wasn't a crowd

you didn't argue

you didn't question

i said i didn't want to be in a crowd

and you went with me

 

i danced til my feet hurt

i jumped and i spun

i sat down when i had to

and jumped up when a good song played

i discovered that you could breakdance

i never knew you were such a good dancer

i cheered you on from my place on the floor

i loved spending the evening with you

as the dance was coming to a close

we stayed in the gym

there was a song and we were both tired

you continued to dance all hip hop and breakdance

i just swayed and spun and drifted to and fro

we laughed about our different styles

 

another song came on

but it was a slow song

the teachers were starting to push everyone out of the gym

but we stayed and danced

for most of the dance

we had been dancing together

but for this song

we danced with each other

my hands were on your shoulders

yours were on my waist

you made a joke

about leaving room for the Holy Spirit

you are the only boy i've ever danced with

besides my father

you are the first and only boy

that i've ever slow danced with

 

the final song was very apt

don't stop believing

by the end of the first part

we had finally left the gym

while i went to go grab my shoes

i asked you if you wanted

to come on a retreat with my youth group

we got some final pictures together

and we walked out together

it was there that we parted ways

 

sitting with my best friend

at the restaurant after the dance

and i confessed to her

that i had fallen for you

the next day i started writing a poem

no crush had ever made me want to write

the poem rhymed

i hate rhyming

but you make me feel like rhyming

i keep a picture of you in my phone case

you're my best friend

and i can't stop thinking about you

 

but you still liked her

that nice catholic girl

i encouraged you to like her

and now i like you

and i try not to be happy

when it looks like you and her might not work out

because it doesn't matter how i feel about you

i want you to be happy

because i love you

and if she makes you happy

i want you to be with her

because i love you

 

in the middle of homecoming

something happened

i don't know what

but it made me realize

that i'm head over heels for you

and i loved dancing with you

and i don't want to dance with anyone else

i don't care that you're a year younger than me

i don't care that you still have feelings for her

you're my best friend

you showed me what friendship can be like

because of you

i now have several healthy relationships

another dance is coming up

and i'm going to ask you

because i love dancing with you

because i love being around you

because i love laughing and smiling with you

because i love you