borderline
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You sap my life of joy, Rival,
With those words of doubt.
I love and you can't, Rival
And drive affections out.
sleeping,
I should be sleeping,
But you find me here
up and writing
keys clicking
space bar tapping
anxious but calm
intervals of still and shaking
Little Sister,
Please, baby sister
Stop tearing at your body.
Your heart
Your soul
Is crying,
Baby sister
You will never find purpose in the clouds of smoke
1
2
3
4
5
6
at 6 I learned that marriage can't end well and that families can't be happy
7
at 7 I knew things that I shouldn't have. 7 I wrote stories about death and sex and murder.
Click, switch – laughter
silly girl, full of joy
Click, switch – anger
holes in walls, bruised fingers
Click, switch – pain
curled in a ball, bleeding at the wrist
Click, switch – sadness
Are you proud of me?
I wanted so badly, to be, what you wanted me to be.
I've tried,
I've struggled,
I've fought,
And I've stumbled.
Am I proud of where I am today?
I'm here,
I padlocked the miles so distance could be kept
In a vault where nothing of value could be dreamt
Can you slam my fingers in a metal door
Till they crunch and I can't touch
No not anymore
