binge eating
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It's like a confession,
my dirty little secret.
I threw up again,
just brushed it away
put on a smile and hit replay.
It never happened
that's what I say,
until I look in the mirror
“You are a bloody glutton, aren’t you”
Café au lait irises, dilate like the peak of a coca rush.
Cinnamon skin — suddenly torched cherry red, on my apples of my cheeks.
Some of you may say I'm a nutter
My tongue is smothered with peanut butter
Like a newly-shined shoe, no area is left untouched
However, this coating should have stayed in my lunch
What am I?
a balloon, stretched taut
over a fauct and filled
til bulging then filled
and filled some more
Like a teddy bear, stuffed
with cotton until the seams
burst
having an eating disorder means wanting everyone to know and no one to ask
it means accidentally leaving your lunch at home and proudly telling friends no thanks when they offer to share
Sitting on my stomach
burning the wet tissue.
sadness fills the void.
never
good enough, not
anymore.
hating self-control
It eats away at me
It is my arms
It is my tree trunk legs
I can hear my lips smack together
I keep eating
You look in the mirror, you poke and pinch,
turn to the side, suck in, wish you could lose just one more inch.
You swear up and down you've already eaten,
by "skinny thoughts," you already feel beaten.
I have an addition problem, I must admit.
1 means one more, and 2 is spelled t-e-n.
30 is basically twenty-nine,
And anymore feels like shit.
But this is not a decrypting test,
You sit across the way and stare at me
as I fight my temptation to give in.
Fulfilling my yearns and granting each plea,
you make me feel so great, it must be sin.
You give the contents to fill what I lack,
Mirror, mirror, on the wall
Who's the fairest of them all?
She who's tall and she who's thin,
She who gets a workout in
She whose thighs are far apart,
She who has an ice cold heart.
The thing about ED is
He never leaves you
Through the good
The bad
The ugly
He's there
A little wasp
Following you around
Stinging you
Every time you reach out
