toxic love

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I'm so deeply in love, I know I shouldn't be... I shouldn't want you But my heart aches And A heavy lump in my throat compels me to cry Cry, when you're not around
Engulfed in rage from past disappointments Cuts so deep it needs more than ointments. Each day a subtle cry is released behind a faint smile Emotionless and ever more docile. We argue we fight
Like a blinding light from the heavens I bowed to you. My eyes only saw perfection from every view Kissing the ground you walked on as if it were holy soil.
Maybe he had a really bad day and went straight to bed, he didn't text me because he didn't want to burden me, maybe he will wake up in the middle of the night,
I am kindling. You? My fire.  I ache for your touch.   Ignite yourself in my body, burn a picture in my mind, show me something beautiful; counteract what I feel inside.  
What lies beneath a breach of integrity a struggling recovery plateaued Resulting in a eminent demise Forfeiting a prosperous balance Of what could have been one of the greatest feelings indulged
“I love you but not in the way that you love me. I love how you kill yourself just so I can breathe. I love how you can't sleep at night because I linger around your thoughts.
    “I love you” should never result in foes It should never result in therapy, emotional damage, and fear
What do I do now? You're slipping from me, fading  And a part of me somehow Just watches as you call out to me  Screaming to follow you  Screaming to grab onto your hand 
I followed his summer hues into a thick forest that left my wide eyes blind, I never knew beauty like these evergreen trees, I saw the sun dance on their dark leaves teaching their full veins one more thing: how to glow
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