being closeted

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Dear every boy who asked me out in middle school I hate to break it to you but I will break your heart It’s not that you are a bad person
Knocks on the door,  surrounded in darkness and isolation.    I made myself comfortable  and I didn't want to leave even though I hate it here.  It's two steps out; 
The washerwoman turns to me and asks,“Did you hear about Damalis?”Our hands dip into the cool river waters,Cold linen draped along our slipping skin.
Pacing around a room.  Its become my prison.  Trying to convince my myself not to back down tonight.  All around me whispers about my reality.  Too quiet to respond to what they accuse me of being. 
uncomfortable hatred casual dislike heart on edge whenever the word is whispered i hear them say it in that hushed tone
Girls like her were landmines. She was so beautiful, yet so dangerous to look at Like an eclipse, if you stared too long she'd ruin your eyes. If I stared too long someone would notice
Meaning to my existence flees from me Must I decide from various notions When decisions are my own cup of tea Based on preference, not by promotions
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