I wasn't sure of the mess on the ground

A turn of the corner  

Face down

The quiet shuffling of my feet toward...   

Acceptance

 

I got her up

In the same moment

I rose higher...

She sunk lower

 

Every frantic push and haul to the bathroom

Every strip of clothing I had to seize

Every incoherent word

Stood me up on a pedestal of strength drenched in pain

 

Every check of her pulse

Every “how many did you take?!”

Every time she spewed nonsense back

Piled on the floor to make a podium for my independence

 

Every stumble into her underwear

Every pause and teeter from one wall to another

Every “leave me here”

Told me I wasn’t my mother’s daughter

 

Resistance met the drained face of acceptance

A push through the automatic door

The perfect solitude of a ride home   

 

A year packed into a day

Rippled tiny reminders in my commonplace

A trip to the store

A forged signature

A lonely meal

 

My lonely strength

The intertwining of sacrifice and peace

The acceptance of independence  

The creation and re-creation of destiny