I start to think of his luscious, bouncy hair which is a warm tone of oak.
His glasses are a blue frame which highlights his eyes, that are a spiral of blue shades with a centre of amber.
He can play so gently, so carefully, so graceful that every move and sound he makes seems as though it was a plan.
He could slip and the audience would cheer him on as though he had perform Mozarts 5th the exact way the composer meant it.
I see him everyday and talk every night, I feel so confident and yet so scared.

    I think of questions.

Does he really want to give this, us, a chance?
Am I able to concentrate on him, and only him.
Forget the time, space and everything in between so that I may spend more of my infinite life with him.
Is any of this worth it? Should I continue to search for the feeling that can brings greatness?
Am I able to take on the consequences of the greatness, the horrible and awful times?
These questions bring up anxiety as I start to fret about the future.
Time has plagued mankind since all of existence.
The feeling that you will never be ‘on time’ is the same as never being ‘perfect’
It knaws and clings and digs and drains the host of all possible space for relaxation.
But just as I am worried about the future, I am also saddened by the past.
The chance of repeating myself, of not learning even though I went through the pain that normally equals improvement.
Tomorrow is always a day away, and yesterday is always over.
You can’t even think, you can’t breathe, you can’t relax unless you wish to give up you mortal life.
We strive to have ‘just one more’ moment.
Enough so we might relive a past memory.
And this train of thought leads on and on, forever never ending.

    Until.

I start to remember the blessing I have.
The blessing that I am able to choose how I spend my useless life.
I can make it what I want it to be, what I wish, what I need.
I think of him again.
I start to think of his curly, glistening hair which is dark barista chocolate.
His glasses of blue are the icing into his eyes, that are blue with a shimmer of amber shining through the centre.
My worthless, beautiful cycle has begun again.