The worst type of lie

I think lying to yourself is worse than any other kind of lie that could be told. When you lie to yourself, a part of you actually believes that it's true. For example, lying to yourself about your family, that they love you, that you're not an extra piece of the already finished puzzle. Lying to yourself about love, that the one you can't stop thinking about did love you once, that they still care, that you're not just a side note, always waiting, always being used at convienience. Lying to yourself that things will get better, even when they're not, you just think they will and somehow magically they do. But they don't. You grow further apart everyday, you don't talk like best friends, you don't understand thing the same, you cry more than you used to, even though everything is supposed to be better. But it's not. And you really really need that person. But they're not there. You need them because your family disregaurds you, blames you, rejects you, lectures you, is dissapointed with let them down on every end. You're supposed to be, expected to be perfect. 


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