Wishy Washy

I know what I want

Most of the time.

I know what I need

When it matters most

And when I don’t

I’m battling options

And weighing the opinions

Of myself in an attempt

To understand what I want

And figure out why I do.

 

This indecisive nature

Is annoying for me.

To make a decision on impulse

Is very difficult you see

I have a habit of considering all

Sides which can be good at times,

But at others just a hindrance

To my progress

And a problem for my sanity.

These moments linger still

Without rest to remind

Me of how I still

Continue to question what

I want even though I know

What it is.

 

These cursed facts and

Probable solutions often

Prove an ally, but in some

Instances only an enemy to

To my desire

To my pleasure.

I wish

I pray

Such doubtful behavior

Would leave me be

And only surface when

I need its outspoken plea

To ensure my actions don’t

Ruin what I’ve built

Or the opportunity I’ve been given.

 

But not little things

Not the fun expenses in life

Not the rare moments in time

Not in the spontaneous excitements

Or in the needed amusement.

No

Only when it matters most

Because

They always seem to surface

When these moments matter most.

This poem is about: 
Me

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