My heart feels full but so do my eyes. Tears lost over what could’ve been. Nothing between us but sheets of paper. Notebooks filled with nightmares past and daydreams present. And yet his is the sheet I don’t want to rip out. 

Why are you so desperate for love she yells. 

You taught me how to be chased. Why can’t you just relax?! 

I am desperate. Desperate for a voice that doesn’t shriek at my existence. For a murmur that sounds like rain on a foggy London morning. 

Didn’t they say us humans are hardwired for love & connection? So tell me 

Why is my smile in chaos so unnerving for you to assume that I am bereft of grief,

Of pain 

Of Reality.  

My understanding of darkness doesn’t suffocate my ability to laugh nor has it diminished my need for hope. 

My excitement doesn’t mean I’ve lost sight of what is 

it’s a reflection of what could be.  

My decision to revel in a day, month or year of eagerness does not signify a lack of understanding or my deep concern of what chaos might ensue for us to live in harmony. 

My excitement is living in the moment that brought tears to my eyes, knowing that people still want to fight back. 

And if I have a choice as to who I want to create this new world, 

I want to leave it to the poets & the dreamers.