Why?
Location
I never thought,
I never questioned,
I never wondered-
When you are young
You do not think about the consequences.
Youth is a blindfold
It keeps you from seeing all the arrows life shoots
At the apple on your head-
This is how everything was supposed to be
Everyone came from a sob story
Why should mine be any more special?
In your eyes
I was never any more special… unique…beautiful
Stomach rolling,
Throat clenched tight
At the sounds
Footsteps. Approaching.
Thump thump thump
Your hand’s steel grip on my innocent pale arm
The room is so black, are my eyes even open?
Click.
Thump-thump thump-thump
Locked door. Racing heart. Three hours.
Eyes squeezed shut
Tears threatening to spill
How do you sleep at night, dad?
With the ever present knowledge of those wounds you left on me
Not visible, not anymore
Isn’t there guilt?
Some regret?
A little shame?
Maybe even fear?
I know we haven’t spoken for quite some time-
11 years 122 days and counting-
But if I see you
Today,
Tomorrow,
Or twenty seven years from now
I will still ask you the same question
The hardest question
For the answer I deserve
And the one that you owe