What a cruel trick it is

to have known it all once and yet again

I watch the shadows bleed and fade, bleed and fade in and out

it's curious how light gives so much clarity

and yet it can be blinding

either in the full force of the scorching blaze

or in its possibly worse darting reflection.

 

And in the darkness, my despairing soul cries out

into the unyielding unknown, the expanse of time that is my mind

birthed from doubt, branded with fear

and kept quiet in a pen, locked tight by my unreliable observations.

 

I have walked the paths of a thousand feet

while never leaving the realm of my security.

I have seen it all, and though some may call it naive

I believe in the world at times, and at others there is only doubt, no sliver of hope to be found.

 

I am a rock, bound to the Earth.

tied to what I am, where I am, who I am

Who am I?

A piece of shale, I am told to lighten up, brighten up, I am told,

"Do not waste your potential."

"Think outside of the box."

"Never assume."

What potential is there to waste?

I see some, and then I see none.

A diamond, I am dulled, either forcibly or by default.

the other gems do not compare

however, that is hardly my fault at all, isn't it?

the green-eyed monster still runs rampant, despite the mastery of civilization.

Who am I to deny the monster food?

I certainly allow it much fodder.

 

I bindly step away from it all,

unwittingly drowning in a fantastic daydream,

until reality pulls the curtain away in one fell swoop.

One word, one realization, one more step backwards on the endless journey... to where?

Or is that the dream?

Who am I to define reality?

 

Who are the voices telling me these truths, half-truths, untruths,

blatant lies in front of my face,

cunningly hidden from the rest by a veil of indifference.

Is it opportunity knocking?

May I take a rain check, and tell it to call again?

Who am I to define my own destiny?

Is it society, the almighty voice and choice and force of the people, telling me,

asking, pleading, ordering a change of face, of place, of fate,

in order to suit their own selfish needs?

 

Who are they to determine my destiny, my place?

Who am I to question my "fate"?