Who Am I?

A question asked on every application ever written

Asked in every interview ever given

But I still don’t know the answer

 

Who Am I?

I know where I’m from

I know who my family is

I know my story

 

But Who Am I?

I was raised to be a perfect child

And stumbled along the way

Gave everything I had to any guy who said they loved me

 

Who Am I?

Mentally and emotionally abused by half of the boyfriends I’ve had

But still staying there hoping it’ll last

 

Who Am I?

Some call me a whore

Some call me a nerd

Guess I’m a little bit of both

But how does the number of guys I’ve hooked up with or got on a test say

 

Who I am.

My parents,

With these high expectations for me and I can’t seem to find a way to say no.

 

Who am I?

Bullied as a child and still unable to speak about it.

Contemplations of bringing a knife to my arm or throat.

 

Who Am I?

This question repeats constantly in my head

Who Am I?

What do I believe in?

Am I straight? Bisexual? Questioning?

 

I’ve always questioned.

But now for the first time in my life,

There’s someone who makes me happy,

That makes my heart flutter,

But it’s a girl.

 

Who Am I?

Why do I need to be confined to a sexual identity?

I wouldn’t call myself straight because I don’t strictly like males,

But I wouldn’t call myself bisexual just yet,

But I mean who the hell cares?

My heart wants who it wants and that’s what I am.

 

My story is still unwritten

Still afraid to be bitten by the truth of

Who I am.

 

But Who Am I?

Will this question ever be answered?

I’m an abused, questioning Christian girl

I question myself.

I question reality.

And the question still remains:

Who Am I?